So to be honest I wasn’t sure when the “right time” to publish this is. As many of you know, my blog is my diary. I pour my heart out in posts, talk about the good, the bad, the ugly. In a way it’s for my readers who are also my best friends, but it’s also for me to look back on. I have always been someone who writes everything down. It’s how I find clarity in a lot of situations and it makes me happy to just write. So I wanted to update my blog about some things going on…
2017 has been an interesting year to say the least. I wouldn’t call it a bad year, but I have learned a lot. I’m not going to lie, I have felt lost for most of it. I know this is the time of my life I am basically going to feel lost all the time, but it was hitting me hard. I couldn’t pin point what was wrong, and believe there were quite a few things. However, I think our mind has a way of tricking itself into thinking everything is fine to protect your heart.
| Pink Cardigan | White Tee | Denim Shorts | Booties (33% off) | Flowers: Trader Joe’s |
I am going to go ahead and talk about what I wanted to get out there, which is my boyfriend of 3.5 years and I breaking up two weeks ago. I have been struggling to know what to write about this because I know people who were in both of our lives read my blog and I feel like it isn’t my place to spill everything that happened, but on the other hand this is my platform and diary and I want to talk to my readers.
I think in the future I will do a full post on what happened and how I knew it was time to end things, I think it would be helpful for anyone going through the same thing! However, for now I’ll just say it was a mutual breakup and it was done with a lot of love, hugs, and tears from the both of us. We both knew we were not meant to be and we had grown apart. Although we were best friends, we were no longer much more than that and our time together was spent going through the motions. I can’t fully speak for him, but I know I spent a lot of time lying to myself saying things like “it will get better” and “he will change” and that just wasn’t fair to us anymore. We both deserved to be happier.
It’s so weird now to really look back on this year and think about all these feelings I have had. I knew something wasn’t right, however, I don’t regret anything. He will always hold a special place in my heart and I appreciate everything he has done for me and taught me. To be honest though, there hasn’t been a moment I have regretted it since we ended things, sure it hasn’t been easy losing a best friend and I have definitely cried a fair amount haha, but I know it was the right thing to do for me and for him.
I think I will end this here, because I am afraid to say too much. Like I said, I know there are people in his life and mine that will read this and I would never want to say too much or put words into his mouth. However, I wanted to make this post to mark a new Era. An era about me, self love, and growth. You can probably tell posts on my blog have been sporadic – but I am back and ready to make this blog 100% what I want! I can’t wait for this new chapter in my life, thank you all for following along with me!
With love,
Lauren Emily Lindmark
Copyright © 2017 dailydoseofcharm.com
I just came across your blog this week. And I’m not going to lie, not even have a half hour before I stumbled across this post I was bawling my eyes out, because my boyfriend of two years and I recently broke up also. And like you described, I feel lost as well. This is so encouraging. Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps knowing there’s someone else out there going through the same thing.
Aww Alyssa this comment totally made my day! I am so sorry about you and your boyfriend 🙁 but I am so glad the post helped though and I hope you know I am always here if you need to talk! xoxo
Lovely cardigan dear. The color and details are sooo cute. Love your booties as well.
Jessica | notjessfashion.com
Thanks Jess 🙂
oh hun, I am so sorry to hear this! My college boyfriend and I broke up right before graduating college, and we had dated 4 years. We were both devastated, but we were headed different places in our lives. We were just friends at that point, and going through the motions wasn’t fair. But, fast forward a few years, I am married to the love of my life, living in a house we bought together, with two dogs!! So it all works out! God for sure had a plan!! Hang in there, and know we are all cheering for you.
xxoo
Mary
I completely relate to why you guys broke up so it makes me feel better knowing you have been through the same things and ended up finding the one! Thanks Mary <3
Hang in there babe! The best is yet to come and ending it when you did to save yourselves even more time and heartache is best. I know this from personal experience. I ended 5 years around your age and it was a HUGE learning experience and eventually led me to my husband which I am ever so grateful for. My best advice is to invest in yourself and enjoy growing as a stronger person during this time.
Thanks so much Sarah! It is seriously so comforting reading everyone’s comments about them going through the same thing and ending up finding the one <3 Thanks love!
Oh lady!
I’m delayed commenting…having just returned from NZ on Sunday night and I’m just getting caught up on everything. As I regular reader, I had to comment!
From the perspective of a 30-something…I’ve been where you are now. It sucks. I was in a relationship for a little longer than 3 years when I was just a bit older than you. It was very serious and so difficult to end. Your twenties are such a precarious time – especially with so many social pressure you feel expected to abide by.
I’m so sorry that you guys had to part ways – but if I can offer some advice, keep things amicable (you never know when you might need them for something in the future…advice, a job reference, an introduction etc.), once the hurting stops you are going to learn SO MUCH about yourself (when one door closes, another opens), enjoy a little freedom and selfishness for a while…I was single through the second half of my twenties only dating and having little flings here and there and I have zero regrets….plus I met my current boyfriend and I knew exactly what I was looking for.
I promise you – this is a very exciting time for you. Hang in there…it gets better
http://www.luellapearl.com
Caitlin
Aww thanks Caitlin, this means more than you know! I feel like you are my internet big sis 🙂 Love you!!
Wow this must have been really hard, hope you are alright. I guess you knew you needed to act on those feelings eventually. I wish you luck for your future. I love the pictures of you and that outfit is amazing.
Isabelle x
http://www.isabelleelli.blogspot.com
Thanks Isabelle, this means a lot <3
It’s never easy going through a breakup. I went through a similar situation with my high school sweetheart. You just know when it isn’t right anymore. Thanks for sharing!
It makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one! Thanks Katie <3
Lauren-sending a big hug to you, and prayers for you both! Always a challenge to close one chapter of a book. Sending all the best for this new chapter for you! You’ve got this girly!
Thanks so much Caitlin! So lucky to have amazing fellow bloggers like you!
Aw I hope you’re okay! You look gorgeous- love your hair and that cozy sweater!
xx
Courtney || https://courtneylivin.com/
Thanks Courtney 🙂
I love this post and how honest you were. I’m 22 and feeling that lost feeling as well. I’m so happy with everything about my life but sometimes things happen that make you think! Thanks so much for this post and to know I’m not the only one feeling this way!
Thanks Shelby! Feeling lost is one of the worst feelings, but I hope you can remember you aren’t alone! I’m here if you ever want to talk 🙂
Lauren, thanks for being so real and vulnerable with us. It’s definitely not easy being so open about this topic. I absolutely LOVE reading your blog so I’m excited about future posts, but know that breaks are more than okay to take and totally understandable.
xoxo
Grace | miss-graciela.blogspot.com
Thanks Grace! You are so sweet 🙂
So sorry about your breakup. I haven’t ever been through a breakup so I can’t say I know how you’re feeling. But I appreciate you opening up to us. I’m sure you’ll help someone by posting this. At least it was a mutual breakup and it didn’t just take you by surprise. Stay strong girl!
Kate || KATE KOUTURES
Thanks Kate! You are so sweet, thanks for the support 🙂
I am so sorry about your breakup. It couldn’t have been easy (and still isn’t), but I’m glad to hear that you made the right choice and I’m excited to see you grow in this new chapter of your life!
P.S. Your hair…your cardigan…the flowers…EVERYTHING about these pics is too cute!
Mia | http://www.verymuchmia.com
Thanks Mia! This comment made me smile, you are so sweet 🙂
ah, Lauren…It’s hard to put it in words, but break-up and new beginnings are just the pieces that make life-life! But you’re already on your way to a ‘new you’ and self-growth by writing your post & feelings.
on a side-light-note your flowers and hair are beautiful! Katelyn
http://www.theyellowspectacles.com
xoxo
Thanks Katelyn! That is such a good way to look at it and I am going to keep reminding myself that! You’re the best 🙂
I’m so sorry to hear this Lauren! I had a relationship that ended similarly a couple years ago and I felt so lost for like a year and a half afterward. It’s going to feel weird, and you might feel lonely a lot, but you’re going to be great!!
Thanks Caitlyn! Any advice would be much appreciated haha! But it makes me happy that I am not alone and knowing you got through it!
Aw, Lauren!!! Sending you love and hugs. Breakups are never easy but so proud of you for realizing the relationship is not meant to be as opposed to staying in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy.
<3
Allie
http://www.champagne-tuesdays.com
Thanks Allie! This means a lot <3
Lauren!!! OMG first off breakups are hard but you are SO awesome and mature!! It takes a woman of true faith the say the words that you just did and I am so proud of you for handling this life event this way! Praying for you and for guidance! Can’t wait to see your upcoming posts I know that they will be great!
Aw thanks Alexa! You are so sweet and your kind words really do mean a lot, the prayers are much appreciated. Love you girl!