As you can tell by the title it’s one of those days. The one where you’re really wishing God would have blessed you with the die-hard love for beer and sports, a full set of facial hair, and a you-know-what between your legs instead of all the shit girls get. Don’t get me wrong – there are definitely perks to being a girl. I’ve been known to pull out the puppy dog eyes and big smile to get what I want, dresses are so much easier to wear than pants, and it’s way more socially acceptable to put make up on when your skin is not cooperating. Other than that, here is all the not-so-great things about being a girl.
1. MOTHER NATURE
This one gets to be in all caps because let’s be real here – it’s one of the worst things we girls have to go through. The worst part? Guys do not understand. Sure they can try to sympathize with us, but no one really knows how horrible cramps, tampons, headaches, hormones, bloating, and the rest of the things are on the long list of stuff we have to deal with. I know it will all pay of when I want kids and blah blah blah…but for now it’s not great – did I mention bleeding for a week straight? (ew)
2. Getting Ready
Like most girls I know, I love getting dressed up, doing my hair, make up, and picking out my outfit. It’s always so much fun – but you know what’s not fun? Doing it every. single. day. Women spend 136 days of their lives total just getting ready. That’s 136 days we could have thrown our hair up and put a t-shirt on and avoided touching foundation all together. However, women have an expectation to look our best so we do what we have to do. An extra shout out to all the people in our lives (I’m talking about all the fathers, husbands, boyfriends, and grouchy family members) who criticize us for taking so long.
3. Dealing with other girls
I never really argue with my friends, and if I do it’s most likely just my sister and I bickering for about 20 minutes. However, we’ve all run into that girl (maybe even more than one if we’re really lucky) who we never want to speak to again. What is it about girls that makes us so catty and rude? I guess it’s super fun for some girls to deliberately try to hurt someone else – just typical girl things!
Oh yes this one gets a whole category of its own because these things are horrible. Not only are they uncomfortable, but they cost as much as plane ticket (basically). No way do I want to drop $200 just buying a few over the shoulder boulder holders that, might I add, are a compete necessity to everyday life. When is insurance going to start covering these? Not only that, but there are about 78 different kinds to buy. Push up, strapless, backless, padded, unpadded, extra padded, colorful, nude, black, lace, and the holy stick-on-boobs we all have a love/hate relationship with.
5. Picking out clothes
Is this just a girl thing? I’m not really sure, all I know is 90% of the time my room is a mess it’s because I was trying to find something to wear that didn’t make me look like I just got back from the gym. I could honestly have unlimited clothes and I would still say “I have nothing to wear.” And yes – most of the time I end up in a t-shirt and nike shorts, but at least I tried.
Let’s refer back to #2. Do you know why it takes us so long to get ready? Shaving. Sure guys have to shave their face, but that is literally it. Do you know how hard it is to shave your legs quickly without making your bathroom look like a scene from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre? We have to take our sweet time on that to prevent band-aides from being our every day accessory. Don’t even get me started on razor burn because that is a whole other rant.
Alright, that’s it for today. Y’all are probably so done hearing me rant. At the end of the day I would never trade being a girl, and I know guys have their own set of problems (they just don’t complain as much – oops). But can we at least find a way to fix #4? #NoMoreBras
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